Reciprocal ink means having skin in the game
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My new girlfriend has a tattoo with her ex-boyfriend’s name on her arm and a sentimental saying underneath. I also have tattoos of ex-girlfriends names, on my arms and upper body. It’s part of my life story, and I’m not embarrassed by it.
Now this new girlfriend wants us to have “twin tattoos” – whatever that is. I surprised her – and myself – by instantly shouting, “No way!” She wants to know: why is it so important to me not to do this thing for her, when I’m okay with my ex-girlfriends being part of my body art?
– I just can’t do it, Silver Heights
Dear Just Can’t: Some important lovers have come and gone in your life, and you’ve honored them with your body art. But, from the negative words that came out of your belly, you already know that this girlfriend is not a babysitter.
Yet she already has strong emotions for you. She feels insecure – and possessive. She would like to nail you to hers.
It means – at the very least – that you get his name tattooed on your body. Then she gets a tattoo in the same style, with your name. Since your subconscious has already informed you out loud, this will never happen, why waste everyone’s time?
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I had a love affair with the beautiful mermaid next door. Her husband was on a business trip for a short time when it was scorching hot outside and she invited me to swim in their pool. She was standing on a ladder, looking at me over their pool fence. Who could resist that?
The cover of an old hedge between our houses meant that I could sneak into their pool without being seen by the neighbors. Or, so we thought.
Too soon her husband returned home after his trip. A few days later I came home from work and there were workers building a taller fence extension between our houses. Her husband did it on his own land. I feel quite uncomfortable. I don’t know what I can do or say safely now. What do you think – did my mermaid confess?
— Worried Guy Next Door, Winnipeg
Dear Worried: You need to talk to this “mermaid” and find out what’s going on. Ask what she told her husband and what he may have learned from an unspotted camera or a neighbor who was able to peek into their yard.
It’s interesting that the husband didn’t confront you. This couple can have an open marriage, but with limits. She may have told her husband about your adventure, but he didn’t agree that you lived next door. Hence the closure! This closure is a strong non-verbal message for you to stay away from.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have met a wonderful man who may be ‘The Chosen One’ but he has a five year old male dog that he adores. I am allergic to dogs. As it is, I can’t spend the night at his house because I can’t breathe. I always have to leave after the romance ends. What a desappointment.
Of course, I’m not going to marry someone I can’t live with! I don’t want to wait more than 10 years for the dog to die to get married and start a family.
How do you get this great guy to understand that it’s in his interest to get rid of the dog?
— Impatient and Allergic, South Pointe
Dear patiently: in whose interest? The dog has been a member of her family for five years and they are deeply bonded.
People who love dogs usually don’t want to give up on having dogs for life. You better look for a man who doesn’t, because he doesn’t like dogs or because he also has severe allergies.
By the way, saying you “don’t want to wait more than 10 years for the dog to die” is a grimace-worthy statement. This says a lot about your lack of sensitivity, not to mention your cold attitude towards animals and the feelings of their owners. Please send questions and comments to [email protected] or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o The Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Every year the Free press publishes over 1,000 letters to Miss Lonelyhearts and her answers to life and relationship questions that come her way.
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Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.
Read the full biography